The Undercover Vet: I seek her here, I seek her there, I seek her blo*dy everywhere!

Yesterday at the clinic, we had quite an amusing story worth telling. We often work closely with some welfare/charity groups, who occasionally catch/trap stray animals. These animals are brought into the clinic to be checked over for any disease and then de-sexed, wormed, given flea treatment and vaccinated. More often than not the animals brought in are cats and the majority of these strays are naturally scared and nervous around people.

Some of the cats become used to human interaction and can then be sent to loving homes, whereas others prefer to remain as free spirits and so are returned to a life on the street (makes them sound like prostitutes!). So yesterday at the clinic, one of these street cats was brought in - she was quite young but absolutely terrified. On a positive note, she didn't seem aggressive like some of the ones we experience - no hissing, no swiping through the cage and no attempts to claim a souvenir of human flesh!!

This poor little kitty was so petrified that she obviously wanted to escape at the first opportunity. We decided that the best course of action was to leave the cat in her own kennel for a day or two. This would allow her to adjust and familiarise herself with her new surroundings. We decided we would do nothing with her apart from provide her with fresh food, water and litter for the first day and then try to see if she would be responsive to any human interaction.

But cats don't always follow the rules!! After being in the kennel for only a few hours, the cat made a complete mess of her new residence! She was like the tenant from hell - who had just decided to have a massive rave party and turn the place upside-down. We decided that we would not disturb her and leave for one day and night and then once she had calmed down and was less stressed - we would proceed with the necessary veterinary treatment. Simple plan - what could go wrong?!?

Just before closing the clinic (once all the consultations had finished), one of the junior nurses, Jane, noticed that this stray cat's kennel was messy and decided that being a caring soul, she would clean it so that the cat would have a comfortable night! As soon she opened the kennel door, whoomph!!! The Harry Houdini of the cat world had made her great escape!!!! The nurse ran frantically looking for the cat but she was nowhere to be seen. She ran to front of the hospital in a panic letting us all know that there was a cat somewhere loose in the clinic.

Fortunately, all the doors and windows to the outside world were firmly shut so we knew the cat was somewhere in the hospital. We began a search party - with 3 vets (one of us being the boss) and all the nurses looking all over for this escapologist!! We looked high, we looked low, we looked under and above cupboards/shelves, in boxes - we looked everywhere we could. This cat was nowhere to be seen. We even had one of the nurses' dogs, a West Highland White Terrier in the clinic - although, he decided he couldn't be bothered to look - not very terrier like, I must say!

After one hour of making the hospital topsy-turvy, Jane, the junior nurse, found the cat in the boss' office (very tempting to just leave the cat there)!! She was feeling extremely embarassed and guilty for this whole episode and tried to remedy the situation all by herself!! She tried to pick up the cat herself and then carry the kitty back to the kennel! As I arrived at the boss' office, I noticed Jane coming out looking pale, covered in scratches and dripping with blood (like a scene from a horror movie!). The cat had won the wrestling match with Jane!!

There was absolutely no way this cat was going to be handled, so we had to try and trap the cat into a mobile crate/cage. The best way was to keep the cat confined in the office and put the cage down on the floor, draped with a towel and the door left open. Cats like dark, secluded places and so hopefully, this towel-draped crate was going act as a nirvana for this little kitty. We just needed to convince her to go in (or more precisely, chase her in!).

The office wasn't very big, so being "The Boss' Private Area", he decided to be part of the duo that were going to force the cat into the cage. The other part of the duo was the Head Nurse. The rest of us remained outside the door listening intently to what was going on inside! For 10 minutes or so, there was clattering, crashing, hissing, shouting and f-bombs! It was like there was a riot inside!

But then joy behold - the cat was successfully trapped in the cage and then released back into her original kennel -with a new sign in big, black bold letters saying "DO NOT OPEN!!".

As for the boss' office, the papers were everywhere and the stationary all over the floor - a total and utter mess with the added frosting of being smeared with cat urine, faeces and the fish-smelling anal gland secretions. What a bonus for the rest of us for having to stay an extra hour after work!!